Japanese Features Society and Customs Zen Buddism

Zen Buddhistic Anger Management at Work Part 2

continued from Anger Management at work Part 1

Image by Pete Linforth from Pixaby used under CC

In social interactions, especially where negative feelings are easily triggered, Japanese people are supposedly trained to show "Tatemae" or “Omote,” (“good face” on the surface), pretending to keep composed, with those negative feelings kept or hidden in "Ura,"  (the depth of their mind).  

Their body language or facial expressions may slightly reveal their true feelings or “Honne" or "Ura,” but this could be a sign of a novice.  The expert would say “don’t worry about it” with a big smile even in such an extremely frustrating social situation, as if they were wearing a face mask for “Noh,” which is a Japanese traditional performing art.   

Most of the times, only "Tatemae" is to be shown in social interactions.  Therefore, it is pretty perplexing for outsiders to understand Japanese "Honne" or true feelings.  Further puzzling, Japanese people seem to exactly know which side, either "Tatemae" or "Honne," they should show, depending on the natures of interaction.  They can switch sides very skillfully, at least in outsiders' eyes.  

This could make even more difficult to understand what their words, smile and other implications really mean.  Therefore, for those who are new to this Japanese practice, having a genuine communication with Japanese people is easily judged impossible.  The practice seems to be a kind of mind game.   

However, think hard what you expect from your workplace.  We do not look for true friendship at work, right?  If we would like to avoid unnecessary frustration, anger and further serious conflicts, why don't we learn that Japanese practice of "Tatemae" and "Honne"?  

Can it be a very effective maneuver to control your negative feelings?  What do you think?